Welcome Gaffer, I think I've just about recovered from last night's drama, but before we discuss that, let's spend a little time on Friday's game. The Gers were odds on favourites to beat Adelaideonians, but didn't. What went wrong?
"Aye, that was a shocker. I let the lads know in no uncertain terms that we have set high standards at this club and performances like that are totally unacceptable."
Well, you certainly got the desired response from the team last night, but to be fair to the lads it takes a rather unique set of numbers to distil 11 chances down to just one shot on target. Fortunately, the result didn't matter, and now on to last night's table topping clash against the Villains. Unfortunately, in this morning's papers, The Gers' scintillating performance has been overshadowed by the mayhem that broke out in the 20th minute. We've watched replays of the incident over and over again and we still can't believe what happened!
"Aye well, I don't want to get myself into trouble with the authorities, so I've got to be careful what I say here. I visited the match officials at half time and asked the referee why he had awarded Villains a penalty. He replied that McCloy had clearly stopped Knyazev's shot with his hands inside the penalty area. I reminded the referee that McCloy was our GK and he just looked back at me in stunned silence. I then asked if he had sent McCloy off for handball and he replied that he had sent McCloy off for hacking down Knyazev in the box. I asked when that had happened because it looked to me that the order of events were as follows: Knyazev shot, McCloy saved, the referee awarded the penalty then everyone stood around bewildered. There was no tackling involved, and certainly not by our GK! The referee just stared at me for a few seconds then ordered me out of his room."
Incredible Gaffer, just incredible. But your woes didn't end there, apart from Villains converting the penalty.
"Aye, the MRP then introduced its own unique brand of mayhem into proceedings. Somebody had to come off to allow Woods to replace McCloy. We were playing 4-2-4, so of course, the MRP sacrificed a MF player, thus creating an invalid formation. It then moved Robertson from DF into MF to compensate for its own error. So we had to play for 70 minutes without our No.1 GK, a key MF, and with a DF unnecessarily playing at a reduced level in MF."
I think just about everybody in the Main Stand could hear you shouting, "Just take Robertson off, *** **** ****!" Sorry Gaffer, we can't print that last part!
"Aye sorry, I was a bit animated by then. We were playing our best football of the season up till the incident, and although the penalty only reduced our lead to 4-1, I was worried that the lads would lose their focus. However, a sense of injustice appeared to spur them on and we reached the interval incredibly 6-1 ahead. My main job at half time was to calm them down and remind them that our shot percentage had been quartered so all they had to do was see out the second half. There was no need for further heroics and thankfully the lads did just that."
I hear that the club has written to the FA asking for an explanation of last night's incident which has been branded as "bizarre" and "unbelievable" by the media.
"Aye, but I don't expect we'll get a reply. I'm just glad it didn't have an effect on the outcome of such an important match."
Well, thanks once again for your insight, Gaffer.
Till next time................Hopefully there will be no more bizarre incidents affecting The Gers!