Stewart Miller
Teddybears F.C.

June 25th
10:14:12 GMT
The Bear Essentials
Issue 101: ......And We're Back!

The Club is pleased to announce that it has resolved its dispute with the MBC (Manager Broadcasting Corporation). After some fruitful negotiations with our good friends at Aberdon the MBC has agreed to stop transferring our broadcasting fees to Robin Hood Enterprises, at least for the time being. We are therefore pleased to be able to bring you the first of a two part review of the season just ended.

Welcome Gaffer, The Gers managed to successfully defend the league title. You must be very pleased.

Aye, delighted of course, but credit to Partick who gave us the long hard struggle that we anticipated.

Yes definitely, Gaffer. What do you think tipped the scales in our favour?

Well there is very little to chose between Partick and ourselves, especially when we meet. However, there is a difference in the way our squads are built. In my opinion, you can either build a squad to primarily maximise percentage shot chance ('possession') but at the expense of shot conversion rates ('shooting power') or you can attempt to maximise shot conversion rates but at the expense of percentage shot chance. I have chosen the latter approach whereas I believe that Partick have adopted the former.

Interesting, Gaffer, but can you give us an example to illustrate what you mean?

Certainly. My experience has been that I have won more games by fielding a side where I have maximised shot conversion rates at the expense of a small drop in percentage shot chance. The trick is to get the right balance for your squad. If you compare Partick with ourselves, whenever we meet I know that Partick will have a slight possession advantage over us, around 0.5%. However, we will have the better shooting power. So if we can generate a similar number of shots then our chances of winning will be better. For example if you compare the shooting power of the six best shooters in our two squads against, say against an SL27 GK, Partick have on average a 36.7% chance of scoring from each shot on target whereas our scoring chance is 42.7%. Small margins, yes, but over the course of a season I think it will enable us to win more games, which is what happened.

Thanks for that Gaffer. Were there any particular problems you felt the team had to overcome during this season's campaign.

Aye, there were two which nearly derailed our championship ambitions. Having just extolled the virtues of our shooting power it failed us dismally during the first half of the league campaign. I just couldn't believe what was happening. We couldn't convert chances to the extent that we were next to bottom of the shot conversion table at the halfway stage. Fortunately, normality returned during the second half of the campaign and we shot up the table to finish second. The second issue we had to contend with was injuries. I've never known a campaign like it. We had a lot of early game injuries which are the worst type. I'd far rather have a player suspended than injured. A first half injury has an adverse effect on three players because of the way I manage the squad's EL values.

Oh? Please explain, Gaffer

Well, the injured player is adversely affected, obviously. Then the substitute, Player X, comes on prematurely so uses more EL than planned. The second knock-on effect is that Player Y who should have been replaced by Player X later in the game is forced to play a full game. So essentially, a first half injury has an adverse effect on the EL values of the injured player, Player X and Player Y. If that happens a number of times over a short period of time then your squad EL management can go quickly out of control.

Wow, I didn't appreciate that Gaffer. No wonder you were getting frustrated with all our injury woes. Well, time has run out so thanks once again for your insight Gaffer.

Till next time..............Enjoy the close season sunshine!


Brian Beerman - Old Colony F.C. - June 25th - 13:35:25
Nice interview with the Gaffer. We need to work on our shot conversion rate at Old Colony.
Colin Scott
Sparta Partick

June 17th
23:51:37 GMT
Never Press
It's all over now

For the first time in the short history of SPT we have won nowt. I am not sad about that because at the sharp end it is mostly about luck and not much else. Two teams turn up with, roughly, a T11 of 27.0 and there not much to chose between them. Special players perhaps and OTF maybe, but theses are minor numbers so luck is the big factor in Manager.

I was curious about the stats pulled by Steve at AFC where there was mention of total chances created and faced in the league and so I looked it up. These numbers really exist. Who would have thought.... Anyway, I looked up mine and it's 263 v 121 which, I think, is pretty good but the bad number is percentage of shots saved. I think SPT are the only team in EVO1 with a save percentage less than 50%. When you are reducing the number of chances the opposition get it has to be a good thing but letting them score every other shot on target wastes all the good defensive work.

In my head I think SPT finished one place lower in the league than we should but TED did well keeping their run going and I have to tip my hat to Stupot there. They were not going to be caught after winning at our gaff. Still, 4 defeats all season is not too shabby. Just a shame that 3 of them came in the last four matches. The games that really matter.

I think the team is sorted for next season. The special players are getting in the way of the swansongers - really surprised that there were not more teams with 5/20 players this season that didn't CP them up to 27. 6/19 at the start of next season = 6/24 swanner. Missed opportunity I think. For me I have a shite SW that will swan it and he will be OK for a few weeks but would have preferred to have been on the ball and thought ahead.

Onwards and upwards.


David King - Unsporting Lisbon - June 18th - 20:20:05
Good summary and analysis.
Brian Beerman
Old Colony F.C.

June 14th
20:39:38 GMT
Old Colony Tap
Season 39 Review

Old Colony Conclude Season With Play-off Win Over IAC Korea.


The Quaffers concluded season 39 with a thrilling play-off win vs IAC Korea Thursday night. The victory means Old Colony will stay in Division One another season. This is only the club's second time with consecutive seasons at the top flight. While supporters are still celebrating tonight's win, many have already turned their attention to season 40, when the club will look to finish much higher in the table than 8th.


While the Quaffers had to work until the last to remain in the premier division (a 7-7-8 record was far below pre-season expectations based on the roster), the club performed spectacularly in cup play this year, having reached the semi-final in both the Origin Cup and Manager Cup. Disappointing losses to Inbhir Narainn (0-2), and rival Unsporting Lisbon (1-4) saw the team fall short of reaching their first cup final. But you will find few OCFC fans who are not pleased with their team's overall performance in both cups. The Quaffers posted a 5-2-1 record in the Origin Cup (+4 GD), and a 6-1-2 record in the Manager Cup (+4 GD). The team will look to build upon those results next season as veteran players like Vincenzo Coccotti, Thomas Skepphult, Roberto Di Matteo, and  Solomon Vandy are in line to return. The team should remain one of the younger squads in the division, which is seen as a slight advantage by experts.


Old Colony will be without at least one player next season: American striker Ned Logan confirmed his retirement after playing his final game vs IAC Korea today. The stalwart forward played all seven season with the Quaffers, racking up 218 appearances, just short of 16,000 minutes, and a total of 38 career goals. While not seen as a league superstar, Logan was always on the pitch when it mattered, and was the team captain for one season. When asked about his plans for the future, Logan replied, "I'll spend time with my wife on our small, quiet ranch in Kansas. Maybe buy some land in Wyoming and enjoy the mountains. My heart will always belong to Old Colony though. Etemereg was my first home!" Thanks for the great memories, Mr Logan. You deserve your time away from the pitch. Good on ya!


Cheers to a succesful season, Quaffers. On to S40!!


David King - Unsporting Lisbon - June 18th - 20:29:37
Glad to see you'll be around for another season.
Steve Allan - Aberdon F.C. - June 15th - 06:50:26
Congrats on staying up, never doubted you for a second :)
Richard Burnett - Inbhir Narainn - June 14th - 21:01:49
Congrats on staying up up Brian
Bryce Kalmbach
Cascadia United F.C.

June 12th
22:29:13 GMT
Northwest News
A Tale of Two Seasons

Cascadia ended its first season back in the top flight over the weekend hanging on to survival by the skin of their teeth. After a wonderful first half of the season that saw them flying high in the top three for many weeks, the last few weeks have shown that this squad still need more tools if they are to thrive in the top flight rather than barely survive. During the end of season press conference one reporter asked the manager about the team's poor morale heading into the off season and if locker room unrest that leaked out during the last couple weeks would lead to departures. "Look, these are hard working men who want to win and sometimes that frustration comes out into the open, but honestly I want players who want to win and as long as players have that attitude and can help the team they are welcome here," the manager replied.

Regardless of who stays new blood will be needed to replace team captain Fredy Montero who has been with the team since their inception. Supporters attended a farewell party at the club grounds where the veteran leader seemed glad that whatever happened during a frustrating season he was able to keep the club in the first division as he says farewell.


Bryce Kalmbach - Cascadia United F.C. - June 14th - 23:27:16
Thanks. Congrats on your league victory!
David King - Unsporting Lisbon - June 13th - 19:44:01
Close, but you're safe. Onwards and upwards.
Steve Allan
Aberdon F.C.

June 11th
13:16:06 GMT
Aberdon Advertiser
So close........

Welllll, what a final weekend and almost what a season that was. Going into the season i didn't fancy us to win either cup so the main focus was on the league. A 2nd title in a row seemed like a big ask but we were amoungst the favourites and had good depth across the squad so it seemed possible. We went all out to win the 4 pre-cup league games and were slightly unlucky to come away with only 2 wins and draw and loss. In what became out speciality, we lost a coin flip to MVV in the 3rd game and could only draw away to IAC in a game that we dominated.

The Origin cup was a complete disaster....all of my own making. As always we used the 1st cup ties to train up our age 0 players and after the 1st 4 games we sat top with 8 points and only an unlikely set of results could mean we wouldn't go through. If i remember rightly Dynamo's had some low EL players (including their main GK) so we fully expected them to stall. We should really have just went with normal but around an hour before kick off i changed it and went for press. Of course Dynamo didn't stall and we shot ourselved in the foot. The worst part is if we had played the exact same team with normal then we would have been the better statistical team, and with a 24SL keeper vs their 11SL keeper we would likely have gotten the draw that we needed. Silly.

Looking back we had almost identical results in the league against each team home and away. SIT 2 wins, CPR 2 wins, MVV 2 losses, IAC 1 win 1 draw, IBA 1 draw 1 loss, USL 1 draw 1 loss, ORP 1 win 1 loss, OLD 1 loss 1 draw, BAL 2 wins, TOR 2 wins, THA 2 wins. The results against MVV and IBA were particulary damaging as we were the better team in all 4 games and picked up 0 points. 

The manager cup was always lowest on the priority list. By the mid point of the season USL had spent big and TED and themselves had a 4SL per player advantage over us. I knew that as soon as we met one it was over so the game against Spartak (knowing that we had TED next) was used to rest a few players and we subsequently lost it. 

The overall feeling from the season is happiness. We were very close to achieving all of our goals for the year. We have trained up 3 age 0's to level 14 and they will become a big part of the squad next year. We may reach the 4000k mark after prizes etc although likely to end up just short. We created 260 chances in the league and only conceded 175 chances, no other team in div 1 can touch this (BAL are the closest with 243 vs 179). That mark would put us right in line with 2 teams who dominated their divisions in TED and INB. 

Next season looks to be another close one. I fully expect IAC to remain in div 1 and challenge next year, along with ourselves, div 2 champs INB and a few others. I suspect we will all be chasing USL again next year. They don't have much youth so i would expect David to throw everything at going back and back and then consolidating the year after.


David King - Unsporting Lisbon - June 13th - 19:45:33
Great season and smart choices for the cup matches. Glad we edged it but it was an awesome finish to the season.
Steve Allan - Aberdon F.C. - June 11th - 21:48:12
Wow 3 go down automatically, i thought it was 2 and the playoff was SIT vs IAC.
Well in that case all bets are off and another potential challenger are
guarenteed to go down.
Brian Beerman - Old Colony F.C. - June 11th - 17:46:37
So our side of Quaffers have no chance in the relegation playoff this week? Very sad. 😢
Brian Beerman - Old Colony F.C. - June 11th - 17:45:37
Steve - good review, always fun to read your take on things. Must take exception with the following
however: “I fully expect IAC to remain in div 1 and challenge next year...”
Mike Parnaby
Huascaran Heights

June 11th
11:03:57 GMT
View From The Summit
Season review

The final road trip of the season saw Huascaran Heights travel to West Bromwich Albion, to face a sound thrashing. 4-1 did not do justice to the home team and the fact that the MoM award went to Gav Lostner sort of shows how the game went. Lawton scored the consolation goal.


At the final home game of the season the fans were hoping to round of the season with something to cheers about. Well, they got to cheer right at th end when the tannoy announcer told everyone that the MoM award went to Packie Bonner. Maybe some cheered for the point won, but most were asleep by that point. 0-0 draws are not entertaining!


After the game there was a full press conference at which the club chairman summed up the season. He said, "Well, it was not the season we had hoped for but bad luck dogged us throughout. The manager (Parnaby) did a decent job and will be retained for next season. We have enough cash to start the new season but things will remain tight on that front. We are unlikely to be investing in as many youth players next season but we are excited by the prospect of a quality Bosman signing. Older players will be released in the close season, no-one wants to buy them, we can't find a use for them all, so it is time to trim the squad and hope to pick up a player or three from the auctions."


Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun

June 10th
04:12:35 GMT
Poles Apart
A funny thing happened on the way to the end of the season

We started the session fifth in the league. Our closing games were away against the number two team and home against the number one team. We expected two defeats. We got a draw and a win. Unbelievable. And we finished in sixth position in the league! Even more unbelievable. Goal difference saw us lose out on fifth place to Colorado. Wacky stuff.

I wonder what lies ahead next season. 

Congrats to Leicester, Orgullo, and Chelsea. Well deserved.


Mike Parnaby
Huascaran Heights

June 5th
15:15:21 GMT
View From The Summit
Boo hoo hoo!

The first game last week saw a heavy defeat, away at Harchester United. This was much as expected because we played a weakened team. Burchill scored for us from the spot, but he also missed another spot kick.


The second game was at home against Calaydonian FC. We really fancied this one with a fit team where the weakest player was a level 20 sweeper. The plans fell apart after 10 minutes when Pedro Pedro was crocked and replaced by a tired Mark Burchill. We did score a couple of goals but let in three. What do we need to do to win another game?


Ellis Simpson
Elana Torun

June 4th
05:11:58 GMT
Poles Apart
Time Traveler

Last week slipped past in a blur. We'll ignore the missed session,a nd concentrate on our likely last session double humiliation. Away at the number two team and at home for our final game to the top team. We have two chances of getting something out of these games: none, and less. At least there is nothing really at stake for us, as promotion is impossible and it would take two impssibly big wins by Chuzhou, and all the other results to go in their favor, for us to be relegated. Surely not...


Ellis Simpson - Elana Torun - June 10th - 04:08:01
You mean this is as low as we can go? O me miserum!
Colin Scott - Sparta Partick - June 4th - 09:17:27
Relegation Ellis? Where to? Into the lower leagues of Origin perhaps 😂
Mike Parnaby
Huascaran Heights

May 30th
18:11:33 GMT
View From The Summit
Late news from deepest darkest Peru!

Last week saw us start at home against the top side, Reading Rattlers. Maybe they expected an easy ride but by half time we were 3-0 up with goals from Bobby Collins (2) and Teth-Adam. Yes they got one back but this was a great win for the lads and has restored a lot of faith. Collins won man of the match too!


The second game was away at Castellon Bandidos. We started well, taking the lead through Craig Storie. But then the game slipped away but we only lost 2-1. Astle picked up a nasty knock which might be a career ending blow.


Joey Jockson was released by the club after failing to make a regular first team place his own.


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