Well Gaffer, the new season is under way and The Gers have four points. That's one more than we took from last season's opening weekend but I believe that you're disappointed.
"Aye, you could say that. Don't get me wrong, it's not all doom and gloom. I was happy with our possession stats which showed we were in control of both games and we've generated more shots than any other team in our division. However, we've got one of the worst shot conversion rates in the division, scoring only once from open play so far."
Yes indeed, Gaffer, you'd think with our attack, we'd have scored a lot more given the number of shots we generated.
"My two best FWs, "Wee Mav" (SL27/28) and Big Dado (SL24), guess how many of our 14 shots were allocated to them."
"Aye, Thomas Buffel. The lads named him "Wee Mav" when he got his 'Maverick' characteristic. The shots, man. How many?"
Right, well they would generate the majority of our OFF so I'd say about 8 or 7? But since you ask, I'd guess it is less, around 6, maybe 5, 4 if we were unlucky?
"It was none. Aye that's right, zilch, zero."
Wow, I didn't expect that! Perhaps you should play Longball to increase the chances of our shots being allocated to our FWs.......er, wait a minute, we do play Longball. So who's being allocated all our shots?
"My two other SL20 FWs, Peter and Jukey, got eight between them. Guess how many were on target?"
Err...Gaffer, normally I'd say about seven, but I guess this is another trick question. Let's think...each shot has a 19% chance of being offside and a 15% chance to miss the target so......if we were unlucky, 4 or 5?
"How about two. Yes, two out of eight were on target from my SL20 FWs. Now do you see why I was disappointed?"
Yes, indeed, Gaffer. I think we better leave it there before you blow a gasket!
Till Next Time...............Let's hope the shot conversion process is kinder to The Gers next weekend!