Newkie Illuminati (NEI)
CoachLes Lithgo
StadiumZion Fields (40000)
CaptainDavid Ginola
Coaching Points29
One Touch Football1
Morale0.31 (0.03)
LeagueEvolution Division 1: 12th
EstablishedSeason 33 (2015)
NicknameThe Illuminati
Following (Avg)13,668 (27,378)
Club Record
OverallDiv 1
Previous Names
None Recorded
Past Coaches
None Recorded
Trophy Cabinet
Division 1 Runner Up136
Evolution Cup Winner135
Name  (22 Players)PosASLELPU
Shaka Hislop GK4271006
Freddie Woodman GK1151004
Darren Peacock SW525605
Steve Howey SW4131000
Jonathon Woodgate DF222553
Steve Watson DF1181003
Barry Venison DF618907
John Beresford DF417830
Marc Hottiger DF3101000
Alan Kennedy DF791000
Liam OBrien DM09403
Titus Bramble DM891000
David Ginola (c)MF521601
Hatem Ben Arfa MF2181001
David Batty MF517800
Stewart Barrowclough MF3101000
Tino Asprilla WG324663
Lauren Robert WG4171000
Andy Cole FW225696
Kevin Keegan FW420580
Alan Shearer FW6171000
Ivor Allchurch UT317830
Players With Special Abilities
Barry Venison Swansong
Tino Asprilla Passer
David Ginola Playmaker
Alan Shearer Athletic
Unavailable For TradeMatches
Freddie Woodman 6
Team Form
Last 10: llDWlDll--
MVP: llD
Team DPs: 48
Newkie Illuminati are rivals to 2 teams.
Recent Transactions
March 9, 2018
0/6 DM Liam OBrien (150k) is promoted to the senior squad.
February 4, 2018
1/11 GK Freddie Woodman (Bosman) signs in the draft.
August 12, 2017
0/8 DF Steve Watson (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
July 2, 2017
1/12 MF Hatem Ben Arfa (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 6, 2017
0/8 DF Jonathon Woodgate (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
January 11, 2017
0/8 FW Andy Cole (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/10 MF Stewart Barrowclough (Bosman) signs in the draft.
August 13, 2016
0/4 DF Marc Hottiger (5k) is promoted to the senior squad.
0/8 WG Tino Asprilla (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
1/11 GK Shaka Hislop (Bosman) signs in the draft.
April 23, 2016
0/8 DF John Beresford (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
March 19, 2016
0/8 FW Kevin Keegan (250k) is promoted to the senior squad.
Team Needs

The games to commence smiley

Season 39 Kit
Next 5 Matches
12 Mar 23 (n)Dutch Evolution Cup
13 Mar 24 Teddys Division 1
14 Mar 30 Tayside Division 1
15 Mar 31 @Queens Division 1
17 Apr 06 Sorukoviso Division 1
Last 10 Matches
11 Mar 17 L0 - 4(n)Spartick Evolution Cup
10 Mar 16 L0 - 2(n)Glasgow Evolution Cup
9 Mar 10 D1 - 1(n)Orgullo Evolution Cup
8 Mar 09 W5 - 1(n)Cascadia Evolution Cup
7 Mar 03 L0 - 2@Cascadia Division 1
6 Mar 02 D1 - 1Villains Division 1
5 Feb 24 L1 - 2@West Coast Division 1
4 Feb 23 L0 - 3@Glasgow Division 1
3 Feb 20 L1 - 2(n)Clarendon Friendly Match
2 Feb 16 L0 - 1(n)Sitan Friendly Match
About Newkie Illuminati

A mythical, secretive group based in the North East of England. Many, many followers - although sections of the following are disillusioned with the direction the club has taken in recent times. However, they remain loyal, committed and fanatical for the cause.


Current aims are unknown. Rumoured to be awash with funds - but investment has been surprisingly lacking. Insular and not always accepting of 'outsiders'!


The black and white striped uniforms are adorned by the disciples of the club and worn with pride as they travel around the globe in their masses. Rituals include the compulsory imbibing of super-human quanties of local beverage 'newkie broon' - known to give the individuals super-human powers of immortality... at least that's the claim. Rumoured to have slightly intoxicating and potentially adictive qualities - with many suggesting that this is used in a mass mind control experiment to retain the followers loyalty and allegiance.


History books show that success is in the genes. Recently though internal wrangling at the top of the organisation have left the club devoid of focus. It is hoped that the recent appointment of Lithgo in a key position will allow this sleeping giant to start to reach it's potential...

Coach's Bio: Les Lithgo

Geordie boy. Mid-life crisis. Gambling. Eating. Drinking. Work, work, work...


Not quite living the dream... yet!


Think that covers it!

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